08 April 2007

Santa Claus Revisited


I will be the first to admit that I love (and watch . . . most every year) the old claymation/animation works such as Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Frosty the Snowman, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, etc.

[Oh yes, and before I forget . . . "You'll shoot your eye out, kid" (I think that either TNT or TBS runs a 24-hr. marathon of that one on Christmas Eve or so)! ]


At the same time, I do not teach Santa Claus as fact to my impressionable child; that is, I do not teach that there truly exists this jolly, white-bearded, magical, chubby, red/white-clad, black-booted man who makes his residence at the North Pole, employs short, pointy-eared elven-helpers, is married to Mrs. Claus, loves milk and cookies, visits the homes of well-behaved children (I think most Americans dropped this requirement long ago) after they fall fast asleep on Christmas Eve, travels in a sleigh driven by a host of reindeer led by none other than Rudolph, etc., etc., etc.


I do not teach my child this way as a Bible-believer, nor do I think that you should either, and here is why:


#1 - Teaching Santa as fact involves outright dishonesty on the parts of parents toward their children. If you know, full-well, that you are telling a non-truth to another party with the intentions of them truly believing what you are saying, you have a lie on your hands and nothing less. When you add to this the moldable and impressionable nature of trusting, concrete-thinking children, who take you at your word, you have a recipe for potential problems. Seeing parents, even within the Church, seeking to justify this dishonesty can be interesting and even entertaining. Can this sort of dishonesty be validated, and if so, how so?



#2 - Teaching Santa Claus as fact unintentionally positions St. Nick to be the focus of Christmas, as opposed to the incarnation of Jesus Christ to fulfill the will of God the Father. Throwing around a few of these - "Don't forget that Jesus is the reason for the season!" - doesn't make Jesus the reason for the saeson in reality, and neither does reading the story of the nativity prior to opening gifts (though I believe this to be a good idea, in and of itself). This scenario can be likened unto the young man who always writes to his sweetheart long love-letters, only to end those letters with - "Remember to keep God first!" God gets the P.S., and we need to avoid this sort of thinking. Our God is jealous for our attention, focus, gaze, and worship, and shares the stage with no one, for who is like the Most High? There are no other gods. For those who would consciously seek to strike a balance between Santa and Christ (a rarity, really), do you folks not see that you are presenting Santa and Christ as just as real and believable . . . fiction & non-fiction?? Dangerous stuff! This leads to my next point . . .



#3 - I do not present a fictitious character as fact, for when you have presented both Santa Claus and Jesus Christ as co-realities for many years of your child's formative experience, and since your children will soon realize that one of them (Santa) is fictional, the kid who actually thinks things through (and they do exist!) may begin to question the veracity and truthfulness of other things that you have taught as fact. It can introduce a skepticism into the parent-child relationship which can work against you as a parent . . . their trust of you could be at stake. It is difficult to respect and submit to one whom you are skeptical and unsure of. Now, while this was not the case with me, I actually know a person who struggled with God's existence as a young man due, in part, to this very thing.



#4 - Finally, I do not teach Santa as factual because my using of Santa Claus and his bringing of toys to good boys and girls as a motivator for year-'round good behavior motivates the child's behavior towards the wrong objective, one that is certainly not Biblical and God-centered. As a Christian parent, for what reason should your children behave? Should they do so simply to avoid chastisement (spanking)? Should they do so in order to get something? Both of these are self-focused motivations (the former having to do with self-preservation).

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As a subpoint to #4 above, we would also do well to revisit the fine distinction between a bribe (not to be used in the parenting process) and a reward (which certainly has its place) - while the former has to do with using a desirable thing to motivate and bring about a certain behavior, the latter has to do with a positive consequence/reward born out of a situation where one meets preexisting expectations (i.e., obedience to parents, submission to parental authority, etc.). To avoid a reward subtly morphing into an unintentional bribe, be careful how much you talk about the reward beforehand, and let the reward be something that doesn't happen everyday (at least, the type of reward that would be especially BIG in the eyes of your child - you wouldn't want to do that all of the time; you couldn't afford it either). Every expected instance of obedience shouldn't be followed by a trip to the mall for the latest craze. Whatever happened to "That's a boy," "Good job sweetie," "I'm very proud of you, honey," or simple pats on the back that say a lot? These are very rewarding options to consider and implement more actively in the parenting process. Trips to the mall are nice, too; just be careful not to over-do it to such an extent that you unintentionally create a self-focused child with a nasty sense of entitlement. Regardless, however, Santa shouldn't be used either way (bribe or reward) due to the dishonesty involved.

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Other things to consider:

* Well intentions are simply that - well intentions. We could say the same for doing fun things that bring about a state or disposition of happiness in the one doing those fun things. However, is it possible that that one could mean well but not do well; that is to say, that you could unknowingly transgress or fall short of a Biblical command/precept while meaning well all the while, ultimately bringing about a harm that was unforeseen in the beginning?



** Is it also possible that one could engage in certain things that, while being fun and bringing about happiness, are illegitimate and sinful (i.e., getting plastered, engaging in premarital sexual relations, etc.)? In other words, there are things that we shouldn't engage in that might be considered a lot of fun. Although I've given the answer in so many words, I'd like you to think on this one as well.



*** I will allow my children to "pretend" relative to Santa Claus if they'd like or sit in the lap of the one dressed as him at the malls in December, etc. There is no inconsistency here, as I would have already communicated the truth of the issue to them and discerned whether or not they could distinguish that which is real from something that is imaginary. If, however, you ask my child what Santa brought to him for Christmas, do not be shocked when he looks at you with a puzzled stare; he already knows that Daddy & Mommy are the gift bearers. The same could be said about questions related to the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy.


**** As to the "magical wonderment factor" that many would claim I am removing from my child's early childhood years, to that I say nonsense. First of all, our current protocol for that time of year is uniquely wonderful and filled with lots of fun in his eyes. From his perspective, he's never been taught the typical Santa tradition, and for all he knows, he's not missing anything at all. Second, I would say that the Incarnation (God the Son stepping out of the halls of Heaven and taking on human flesh in order to save all sorts of people for Himself unto the glory of God) is much more miraculous than a fat man squeezing himself down chimneys. Third, even if the wonderment/wow factor was to a lesser degree in the eyes of a child (and it shouldn't be), this doesn't justify breaking Biblical precepts in order to remedy that in your mind. Be careful of the pragmatic mindset that would tell you that the end justifies the means; while this type of thinking about things (i.e., ethics, morals, etc.) is prominent in American thinking, it can get you in a LOT of trouble. If you have to transgress, or fall short of, Biblical commands/precepts in order to achieve a certain goal (i.e., possibly more fun for your child, among others things) then you have sinned . . . period. You are not loving your child when you do this, as much as your intuition and feelings say otherwise.


***** For more information on the historical Saint Nicholas, see the following link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_nicholas. You might want to teach your children about the historical St. Nicholas at some point. If so, the link provided should point you in the right direction.


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With these things said, I would like to ask you some questions in closing:



(1) Since when did good intentions become the standard by which we act and make our decisions? While we certainly don't want to act out of bad intentions, is there more to the decision-making process (or, rather, should there be more) than merely meaning well?



(2) If an action is to be considered morally and ethically right based on whether fun is had in the process, what sorts of things could be considered fair game (could you name anything that the Scriptures deem as sinful and off-limits?)?


(3) Is obedience to God's commands/precepts (w/ are found in the Bible) and the very soul of your child more important to you than your reputation and likeability/coolness in their eyes?

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