A Counseling Tip

During a counseling session (regardless of the setting/comtext), and specifically during the initial session, it is always better to do more listening than speaking. Think with me for a moment (and forgive me for not producing a more tactful illustration) – you tell me what’s more rational . . . (1) to digest information before it is properly ingested; or (2) to ingest/gain the information and then digest that information appropriately? I hope that you chose option #2, as I did.

I distinctively recall Dr. Jerry M. Windsor telling us in class that for some odd reason, he found in his counseling experience that it was usually the 3rd issue (given by the counseled in the initial session) that turned out to be the real problem. Let’s create an imaginary scenario in order to better grasp this point. You (& your spouse) are the counselors – Suzie, the subtle (yet rebellious) varsity cheerleader has asked you if she could meet with you ASAP. Let’s say that the presenting problem is an issue of acceptance/rejection . . . or a parental issue . . . check it out – if you too hastily begin to unload whereas the “presenting” problem is concerned, you may never discover that Suzie is carrying the child of the all-star athlete!! While that is indeed a radical illustration, I believe it makes the point. In these situations, take your time, listen, and learn to discern the difference between that which is symptomatic and that which is problematic. There is a difference!